Tuhan apakah mau memaafkan segala pikiran kotor dan hati yang kadang begitu picik mengarungi kehidupan ini.
Aku bicara seperti ini karena merasa ada seseorang yang sungguh mengesalkan hati dan pikiran, sehingga mengacawkan resolusiku.
Memperbaiki diri susah sekali dilakukan pada saat in, apa benar dibalik kekesalan ada kata maaf. belajar sadar bahwa seseorang gak mungkin bisa seperti apa yang kita inginkan dan belajar mau bilang banyak maaf dan melupakan apa yang pernah terjadi. aku sekarang dalam proses memafkan.
tetapi bukan melupakan. tahap belajar ini didukung oleh seorang teman baik yang mengirimkan aku e-mail dan tips yang bagus ini. sama-sama belajar yach:P
Forgiveness
Imagine that your life is a busy airport, with you as the air traffic controller. Now let's look at your control screen. On the best day, it's chaotic with departures and arrivals. But there are some planes that never seem to land. They circle and circle endlessly, taking up space and multiplying stress.
These planes are your unresolved grievances. They hover, but they refuse to land. With them in your personal space, you're forced to work harder. They distract you, exhaust your resources, and cause accidents. Unable to forgive or let go, you try to keep your grievances aloft, creating stress and risking burnout.
As the analogy shows, harboring our injuries robs us of precious time, energy, and the ability to move forward in our lives. And here's some interesting news: Research has shown that forgiveness is good for our mental and physical health. Having the ability to forgive seems to reduce depression, defuse anger, improve spirituality, enhance emotional self-confidence, and help people live with greater peace.
Forgiving does not mean being a doormat, simply condoning or forgetting injury. Nor does it condone unkindness, or mean reconciling with someone who has treated you unjustly. Forgiveness is becoming responsible for how we feel. Even though we experience great pain, we are able to find peace and move on in our lives. After being mistreated, abandoned, or cheated on in a relationship, we may not forget, but forgiveness takes away the power of the misdeed. We learn to take painful experiences less personally.
And most importantly, when we forgive, we stop being a victim of our past. That includes forgiving ourselves. It means giving ourselves a break when we fail to meet a goal or come up short in being perfect. We choose to move forward with purpose, instead of looking back with resentment.
If you find yourself getting "stuck" in anger and having a hard time forgiving yourself or someone else, try the following tips:
- Speak with people who have forgiven others and think about what you can learn from their stories.
- Read books about forgiveness to learn how others have forgiven in difficult situations.
- Recall times that you have hurt others and needed forgiveness.
- Write a forgiveness letter to yourself or to someone you need to forgive.
- Cultivate an attitude of gratitude for your life.
- Ask yourself, "Who would I be without this resentment or anger?"
- Start small. When you practice forgiving the little annoyances of life, you strengthen your forgiveness muscles for the more difficult times.
Cynthia Kersey, Unstoppable